If You Work at a Crisis Pregnancy Center…

by GfG on December 11, 2014 · 1 comment

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… could I please ask you an important question?  Do you focus on helping the client choose life or choose parenting?

Those may sound like the same choice, but they really aren’t.  And honestly, I think we are shooting ourselves, and ultimately unborn children, in the foot when we make the conversation about parenting instead of about making it about life.

See… here’s the deal: most clients who walk into a crisis pregnancy center need someone to meet them where they are. And they are freaking out right now.

They need someone…

…. to tell them that they don’t have to decide what to do for the next eighteen years, but only for the next eight months. 

A wise and experienced counselor told a young woman once, “You don’t have to decide right now if you want to parent.  You just need to decide if you want this child to keep its life.  You have time to decide everything else and there are people to help you with that.”  The young woman needed someone to help her focus on the most important issue.  And that’s it: choosing life.

Help her see that important decision and then move to the next phase.

… to help them explore all their choices for life.

I will tell you that even though I knew adoption existed and so do all young women, it’s a rare woman who immediately knows she has three options.  She goes to two: life and death.  And if the places that are supposed to be loving and life giving limit those choices just as pro abortion places do, then they are behaving no differently than Planned Parenthood when they say a child is a “piece of tissue”.   We must help each woman explore both of the life giving options.

We must advocate (which means to speak or write in favor of; support or urge by argument; recommend publicly) for adoption, truly, not just mention it in a breeze by conversation.  We must not come across as believing loving mothers only choose parenting. 

Not every pregnant woman should mother.  I don’t believe this because I am a hopeful adoptive mother.  I believe this because I have lived in the world forty-four years and fifteen of them were spent on a boys ranch. I saw the results of women who should have had their children taken away years before it happened.  I have seen children who were neglected, abused, pimped out, given drugs, and more.  By the time they were seven.  Many women would be doing the best by their children if they chose adoption instead of parenting.

2 Options for Life Collage WEB

To believe the lie that all women should mother their children is to put children in harm’s way when God has so beautifully advocated for a life giving and life sustaining option: adoption. For goodness sake, if it wasn’t a godly option, He wouldn’t describe Himself as adopting us.

An unplanned and/or unwanted pregnancy provides the mother three options: abortion, parenting, or adoption.  Not just life with the baby or not giving the baby life.

And I am here to tell you that not only does my experience tell me but others also tell me that most Crisis Pregnancy Centers push for parenting.

The problem with this that it perpetuates lies.  The lie that birth mothers are unloving.  And they lie that abortion keeps you from having to do something for eighteen years that you aren’t ready to do.

I am frustrated with a system that has such an important job and neglects an important aspect of it.  As I shared before, most of the teen girls who find themselves pregnant tell me that they “know abortion is wrong, but they can’t parent right now”.  Adoption still is rarely a part of the conversation.  And to hear that crisis pregnancy centers are a part of that silence breaks my heart.

And as controversial as I know this may sound…. I wonder if those of us who are fighting for life are actually pushing girls into a corner, where they choose death.

No one wants to be considered unloving.  Or a bad mom.

No one.  Even those who actually are, don’t want to be considered that.

So, if a woman finds herself in the position of hiding something forever or being labeled a bad mom, guess which one she’ll probably choose?

In the fight for the lives of unborn children, we must educate ourselves, our churches, and our crisis pregnancy centers on how to counsel for life and for both of the beautiful options that give it.  If that means we go to trainings at adoption agencies, so be it.  If it means that we must first admit we are lacking and have neglected a loving option, then let’s do it.  If that means taking the time to truly advocate instead of just blowing off an option, then we must.

For the sake of the women.

For the sake of the children.

For the sake of the truth.

So… raise your hand if you’re going to call your crisis pregnancy center and ask how they advocate for both life giving options?


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