We Need to Talk to the Children in Our Lives About Adoption. A lot. Seriously.

by GfG on September 10, 2014 · 13 comments

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This post has been in the draft folder for months, but after last week’s experience, I finished writing it.  I’ve realized that there is a problem in our culture.  I have a sickening feeling it’s common in other cultures too.

There is an incredibly strange conflict of thought in regards to unplanned pregnancies.  Girls and young women will say, “I think it’s probably wrong to have an abortion, but I could never let someone have my baby, so I made an appointment for an abortion.”

Oh, my.

Our culture has so demonized women placing their babies in families via adoption that girls would rather have an abortion that they think is wrong, bad, or just not a great idea rather than allow someone else to “have” their baby.

I’ve heard it more than once.

And here is what I want us to do about it: I want us to talk to our children, all the children in our lives, about adoption.

And the beauty behind it.

Adoption is beautiful for any family.  I don’t want them to think only Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie adopt.  Rich and much less than rich can and do adopt.  Famous and humble.  Black and white.  American and non.  I want them to see photos of all kinds of adoptive families so they see that is can be an option for anyone.

Adoption is a life and love giving option.  I don’t want them to think that adoption is wrong.  While adoption is nearly always the option because a situation is less than ideal, that doesn’t mean it is wrong.  It means that a woman (and a man) are making the most of a situation.  Sometimes that is forced on them (by a child being taken away by the law) and sometimes it is the best way for a child to having a loving, providing family and sometimes it is the only way.

Adoption is an option for all walks of life.  I don’t want them to think that adoption is only something drug addict mothers do, so any woman who is in her right mind should never consider placing her child in adoption.  I don’t want to be a part of the silence that allows the mental image of only destitute women placing their babies in adoption.  That isn’t true and it doesn’t help encourage adoption.

Women of any socio-economic and stage of life may find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy and they need to know that there are agencies and people who want to help them choose life and love.  They want to help.   And I want my children to know that all kinds of women choose adoption as the best option.

It’s about a life.

And a family.

And love.

We have to teach that now, often, helping form a loving mindset so it’s not left to crisis situations to attempt that.

I’m not saying we all have to adopt.  I am saying that we all need to advocate for it.  Lives are at stake.  Quite literally.

My last post opened my eyes to an area of adoption I had absolutely no idea about.  None.  I am saddened to know that there are groups that are teaching that adoption is horrible, no matter what.

It proves my point in another way though.

We need to talk about adoption because:

  • it still has a bad stigma in regards to the birth mother
  • it is losing out to abortion
  • it really can be an option for many
  • it is getting vile publicity from some
  • it is a beautiful model of God’s love for us

As Christians, we need to talk about adoption for all of those reasons.  Even if we aren’t called to adopt, we need to increase the awareness and the knowledge.

I want us to talk about adoption and how beautiful it is…

….even if it means that we would need to relinquish rights as a grandmother.

Yup, you heard me right.

If one of my children found themselves in an unwanted unmarried pregnancy, I want them to know that adoption is a beautiful option that I will support.

Would that be a tough pill to swallow?  You betcha.

But… my experience tells me that oftentimes girls choose abortion even in Christian families because they don’t want to bear the shame of an unmarried pregnancy and they don’t want their family knowing.

Let me not be a stumbling block to murder.  Never.

I must tell my children, my sons included, that I will love them, I will help them, I will forgive them, and I will support their decision if they want to place the child in adoption.  And I need to be willing to honor the mother and father’s wishes.

adoption symbol

Three parties (the child, the birth family, and the adoptive family) connected though love!

…. from so many angles.  

The birth mother chooses to carry a child that she will only know for a short while or in a small way.  Nine months of living for others, with another soul growing within her.  Beautiful.  The birth father chooses to show love and honor to his child by giving up rights to a father that will raise the child in love and provision.  Beautiful.  The adoptive family chooses to embrace and love a child not of their blood, making him their own.  Beautiful.

Yes, there are oftentimes sad situations and circumstances involved with why a child is placed in adoption, but that doesn’t negate the beauty of the child getting a forever home. Not even a little bit.  Instead, I think it shows the grace and mercy extended.  Beautiful.

…. because God did it for us!

Talking about the beauty of adoption is a natural springboard to talking about how God adopted us!  One of the strongest supports for adoption as an act is that God did and does it.  He adopted me.  He adopted my husband.  He adopted HB, Noah and Chloe.

Ephesians 1:5 “He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will”

Just as God has Maybe Baby already planned and chosen for us, He chose and planned that I would be His child.

Amazing.

Beautiful.

Worth talking about.

I learned many things by walking the experience of last week and the attack on me by an anti-adoption group (and I will share about more about those lessons soon), but one was that we need to be vocal all the time, not just when attacked.  We have to be a voice for adoption.

So, today.. I challenge you to take the time to talk to your kids about adoption.  Do it often.  Do it from different angles.  Do it from the standpoint of love and life.

Just do it, though. Advocate for adoption. 

Active Advocacy

How are you actively advocating for adoption? 

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