Dating Differently: Jan’s Story, Part 1

by GfG on April 3, 2013

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A month ago, I shared why my children won’t be participating in the social dating culture so predominant in America.  As a part of that discussion, I will be hosting a few guests here on the blog, sharing their thoughts about the topic.  

First up, is my beloved friend, Jan.  If you’ve been here awhile, you’ve read some amazing stories.  Her life is a testimony to a loving and faithful (and surprising!) God. Take it away, Jan!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Nunnery

At the tender age of 37, I became a widow. Almost immediately, God spoke to my heart concerning purity. I now belonged to Him. God was my husband, and I was to keep my body, mind, and heart pure for Him and Him alone.  I was my Beloved’s.

Now, being pure in body is one thing, being pure in heart and mind? That is a tall order, especially in today’s society! After all, I had been married and had enjoyed all the privileges of wedded bliss. But, at the age of 37, I was rebirthed as a teenager. I was both parent and child. Funny, I was a much more obedient teen the second time around.  (Sorry, Mom and Dad.)

This time I knew the battle. I knew the pleasure of sex. I knew the power of sex – to unite or to divide. I knew the anguish of a heart torn between self and partner.  And most importantly, I knew the sweetness of purity. I was entering once more into the simplicity of virginity, but this time with the intent to keep my heart only for my Beloved.

And so, careful planning and execution of strict standards ensued.  I was allowed no R-rated movies. For that matter, certain TV shows were no longer permissible. Essentially, anything that turned my heart to desire had to go.

At times I felt ridiculous. A 37-year-old teenager? Talk about awkward. And let me just say, because I knew what was at stake, my standards were much tougher than my parents’ had been. And, unlike the first time around, I found the boundaries to be a delight, an act of worship, a fight for my Beloved.

Meanwhile, God was graciously bringing me through grief rather quickly…a mere 12 months, 15 days, 11 hours, and 6 minutes.  The more I healed, the more I reveled in the fact that God was my husband. But even marriage with the creator of the universe comes with some bumps – say, communication. You see, I had a grand idea, so grand that it required no discussion.

Jan web

God had blessed me with a great marriage. He had healed my grieving heart upon loss of said marriage. He had called me to Himself. And so, I decided to live out the rest of my days as an unwed woman.  Period.

I took to heart Paul’s message “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do” (I Corinthians 7:8).

Those of you who are married know full well that your heart is devoted to home and all those within. Being single allowed me to drop everything and run where ever God called. Little did I know He would call me back to the dating scene.

What do you connect with in Jan’s story?

Come back next week for Part 2!


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