Accepting Friendships for What They Are: My Tree

by GfG on June 21, 2012 · 6 comments

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I’ve shared already about one of the hardest aspects of taking your family away from all they’ve known for their lives, as well as one way to be sure you are making the most out of the friendships God has placed in your life, but today I share a different difficulty.  One that I struggle with, but aim to please the LORD in allowing him to lead this.  It might be something you struggle with even if not going through a trying time.

I have to let my friends be who they are and not hold it against them for not being what I want or need.  Expectations can create problems in all relationships, including friendships.

In my current situation, I am reminded that some people are wired well for long distance relationships, some are not.  After forty-two years of life, I’ve learned that.  I have friends that are terrible at keeping in touch and staying connected and others that are terrific at it.  I’ve learned to decide how much effort I want to put in a friendship where I am the only one putting in the effort.

I am very relational.  You may have figured that out?  I mean, yes, chocolate almonds and I are very good friends, but people are truly my thing.

As I walk this new road the LORD has for me, I am reminded of an analogy my friend Jan shared once: “There are people in your life that form a tree of support.  Some of them are trunks, some limbs, some branches, and some just leaves (seasonal).  The important thing is that you accept them for what they are in your life.  You can not make a limb person into a trunk person.”

I know that God has designed me to be an extrovert.  I know that He is sovereign.  I know that He loves me.

So… through the trial that is a move, I need to take my needs to God and let him show me how I will be ministered to, while not putting burdens on people who are not a part of that ministry plan.  He will take care of me.  He is the root system of support in my life and he uses different people to create the tree.

I have to love the people in my life for who they are and accept them for that, not putting expectations on them.   This is important at any point in life, truly, it’s just enhanced in mine right now.  More of an unavoidable reminder.

I have to choose to extend grace to my friends, allowing them to operate as they can and want.  It blesses me when I choose grace and it blesses them.

I have to trust the LORD as he reveals how my friendships will change now that I am not physically close to people.  I find it a very, very difficult thing to do when hurting.  When lonely.  When wanting.

Yet, I know that God asks me to do this.  It is the right thing, move or no move.  

Have you accepted the relationships in your life for what they are?  Do you find it difficult at times?

 

 

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