In Gratitude #3: Grateful for Her Gift & Her Friendship

by GfG on April 30, 2008 · 7 comments

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She said, “Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll all take care of you. I have the whole week off, so it’s perfect. I’ll be there Friday to spend the night with you in the hospital and then I promise you won’t have to worry about a thing.” This was March 27th, the morning after my son was flown to the Big City NICU and I was starting to wonder what we were going to do once I got out of the hospital. But, it turns out- I didn’t have to worry about a single thing.

Thankfully, I had several friends in the Big City who helped me, but Dr. Mole (she has a real name, of course, but I’m not sure she wants it on a blog) stepped into Primary Caregiver. She stayed the night that Friday, then took me home to pack, then brought me to the hospital to see my son for the first time since the moment he was taken from my womb. This is where her gift started to really show. She brought me into the hospital via a wheelchair (she went to go get it while she had me wait in the car; she did this each time she brought me to the hospital) and then as I stood up to see my little baby with all those tubes and machines, she disappeared and left me with My Sweetie. She knew the moment was near sacred and didn’t want to intrude on an intimate family time.
That was the beginning of 12 more days where I saw the gift my friend has as a doctor in ways I had only seen hints of previously. This friend let My Sweetie and I stay with her and her family for 16 days. When we arrived in our bedroom the first night, she had gifts waiting (remember my love language?). She had bottled water (for me) and Diet Coke (for My Sweetie) stocked in the house. She cooked dinner (an act of love) for us that was healthy and yummy. She hosted a birthday party for me and kept it low key since I was weary. She went to eat Indian Food with me (even though she had had it for lunch at a bday party) the night My Sweetie was ‘off’. She picked me up late at night and drove me to the hospital early in the morning.

On the medical front, she gave My Sweetie a notebook for writing down when I should have my medication so we didn’t forget. She checked my incision every day. She took my sutures out when it was time. AND…

She visited Wee Babe at least twice a day. She spoke to Dr. O daily. She read Wee Babe’s chart and his tests/x-rays. She translated for us when we only thought we knew what the staff was saying. She reassured me every time she spoke. The first 10 days we stayed with her, it was her VACATION! She chose to care for us and our baby while she was off! She went to the hospital, while she was off! Then, she did it amidst her work schedule and seeing her ‘official’ patients once her vacation was over.

See, this friend has a gift. She is kind and loving and gentle and these traits are FABULOUS for a doctor to have. She soothes when she speaks because she thinks about what she is going to say and puts herself in a mother’s position. Her voice itself is gentle and it helps calm an anxious heart. She came up to the NICU more than once because I was upset, simply to be there for me and to help in any way she could. She loved us and our baby through her actions. It seems fitting that the first place Wee Babe went after he left the hospital was her house.

I will never forget it. I’ve loved her as a friend for many years, but the depth of my appreciation has be forged as only a very scary situation can forge it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Mole!

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