My Cup Runneth Over on This Roller Coaster Ride!

by GfG on March 30, 2008

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I am happy to say that I am out of the hospital and in the big city with Wee Babe! I was able to go home (be stunned! more about that in a minute), hug on #5 and The Princess (the rest were with friends still), chat with Dadaw, and pack yesterday afternoon before I came here. It was good for The Queen and I to see each other, but hard to, since I knew I was leaving and she didn’t. Thankfully, I was able to put her down for nap and take my exit while she was sleeping.

So much to say!! Please do not feel guilty using your skimming skills on this post! ƒÅ“

First some wonderful news on Wee Babe: he is OFF THE VENTILATOR!! My Sweetie called to tell me when I was leaving the hospital because he knew how much it would mean to me regarding Wee Babe’s health AND my emotional response if he didn’t have that horrid looking tube coming out of him!! THEN dh had another surprise for me upon seeing my son- he’s also had his chest tube taken out! Yesterday was a very big day for him. He’s breathing on his own, no chest tube, being weaned off the nitrous oxide. All really good things.
Praises Regarding Wee Babe’s Health:
He is in The Father’s Hands
He is off the ventilator
He has no chest tube
He received some blood yesterday because hemocrit number was down
He got to hear his mama’s voice ƒÅ“
He weighs 6lbs 6oz
The pneumothorax is gone
His xrays show that his lungs look GREAT! His right lung especially now.
He may get to have milk today!! (via a feeding tube, but it’s a start)
He has calmed down and is becoming stable enough to be held soon (maybe tomorrow)
His mama’a milk has come in so he will go straight to that when he can have ‘food’
He does NOT have my hereditary bone disorder!

Prayer Requests for his health:
His lungs continue to develop, grow strong, and calm down
His bilirubin levels stay good
He handles feeding well when it starts

I will admit that I was desperate to see him. My heart as well as my arms have been aching. But when I walked in there, I wanted to bawl. So many machines. So many tubes. Such a little looking baby. I knew this all in my head and was as prepared as I could be, but… I was overcome emotionally. The doubts that were on the periphery of my mind came flooding in like a tidal wave: did I do too much and cause the contractions? should we have held out longer? should we have come to the Big City for the birth? should I not have called the dr. Wed morning? Lots of stuff. I held it in for awhile because I didn’t want to upset PL who was there visiting his grandson and namesake for the first time, but … all these things are now running rampant in my mind. It’s become a battle. I needed to see Wee Babe, but the first time was a doozy emotionally for me.

Sweetie and I went to eat while the NICU was closed (6-8pm) and I was not good. Weeping. You know how much men like that, right? I was tired, but I wanted to go back to see Wee Babe at 8pm. Thankfully dh finally agreed. The second visit was much better for me. All these things are still in my head, but I was able to see past them and love on my son. The nurse lowered the side of his bassinet and lowered the table (she noticed I am short, odd, huh?) so I could sit and reach him. I talked. Held his hand. Gazed at him (he is gorgous BTW, dontcha’ think?). Read Psalm 139 to him. Heard some more info and good news from the nurse. She weighed him and told us we could bring any stuff we wanted for in his bassinet. She said, “He’ll look like a new fella’ tomorrow! He’s doing so good!” I just love that nurse.

Ok- other info to share. Did you know that I am sooooooooooooooooooo blessed? You should envy me, truly. I am surrounded by family and friends who are probably the coolest and most giving people on earth!
Here is a smattering of blessings I (and my family) have received:
I have had a friend stay with me 24/7 while at the hospital to help me recover (physically and emotionally). These women willingly slept in the hospital! Gatrel, “Just Jan” and “Dr. Mole”.
Friends and family have cared for my other 5 willingly and lovingly for us: PL, “Raising Charlie’s Angels”, the Kerrs, the Loveladys, our “ex-Air Force church family”.
I have had dfs make a homemade cherry pie for me because they heard the first thing I wanted when I could eat was cherry pie!! They had never even made or eaten cherry pie before! It was fab!
I have had Rather Sweet & Indian food delivered to me!! My sis gave me enlarged framed photos of my baby to gaze out while away from him and a journel for keeping tabs on info!
We have been given some darling baby boy clothes (how fun is that to do again!?)
I have had 2 friends offer and then do foot and calf massages on my c/s aching feet/legs!
MY HOUSE WAS CLEANED!! while we were still all at the hosptial/or gone! It looks GREAT! (Seriously, we had company come stay in the guest room Thur/Fri and they left a note that was so sweet with several comments on the ‘spotless house’. They were stunned: sad comment on my housekeeping, fabulous compliment on “Raising Charlie’s Angels”, my “TLC friend” and Christa’s work!! Thank you!)
Dadaw is willing/able/doing it thus far to care for my kiddos for this week AND be sure they do school (you see where I get it, right?). He is also slightly spoiling them AND doing laundry!! How awesome is that.
HS friends and church friends have offered meals when we are ready.
“Dr. Mole” has taken over my recovery and care while here in the Big City AND she gets calls from Wee Babe’s dr. since she is ‘family’ (emotionally she is!), so we are ever informed PLUS every nurse and dr. knows that Wee Babe means a lot to “Dr. Mole” so… ya’ know… they are being extra good since someone they like and know is looking over their shoulder. She is also pampering us here at her house, handling my pain med, watching my incision, and being sure I am physically cared for (has a wheelchair ready when I arrive at the hospital, for example).
And we have more offers for help and meals that we currently know what to do with. We had to get to this point before we/I could think clearly.
I had to see my son.
I had to touch him.

So, today My Sweetie and I will be sorting through how to handle the logistics of this week: childcare, visitation, etc. I also get to see my sis today!

I want you to know that my cup runneth over. I feel so loved. You are all ministering to me in tangible ways. Prayer is one of them. Don’t doubt that. I KNOW God has sustained me through the prayers of the saints. I KNOW He will continue to do so.

This is a roller coaster ride (and I don’t like roller coasters any more!) and is affecting me physically and emotionally on so many stinking levels, but at the same time, I am brimming to the top and spilling over with the support (just as Aaron and Hur held up Moses’ arms!! You are all holding me up during this battle!) I am receiving.

I am praying that God bless you seven fold (just know that’s a lot!!) for how you are blessing me and my family.

The following posts won’t be so long, I promise!

“You anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” Psalm 23:5b-6

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